Date Night

Remembering Tom: 22nd in a 30 piece series

When I was 14, I flew out to San Diego to visit my father for our February school vacation week.  It was a special treat that year because one night, he took me (just me) to a fancy restaurant on the top floor of a posh hotel in La Jolla.  It was a very rare occasion that any of us were ever on our own with one of our parents.  There were four kids for my parents, and three step siblings in my dad’s marriage and two in my mom’s; there were always people around.  That was what we knew.

The restaurant had windows all the way around and a view of La Jolla Shores, one of San Diego’s beautiful beaches.  We watched the sun set from our table.  I was the only non-adult in the place.  When we were little my mom would have us practice our dinner manners by setting up candle light dinners. She did it Infrequently enough to make it special, but enough times so that we learned something.   I am pretty sure it helped me feel more comfortable that night.

I remember bringing a black velvet dress with a lace bodice on my trip.  So, I must have known that this date night was planned.  It was the dress I had worn for my dad’s wedding the year before.  My mom probably helped me pick it out.   In fact, she probably bought it. What a great mom! We took a nice photo and off we went to La Jolla in the Mazda 626.

We experienced our first table side Cesar Salad.  My dad was extremely impressed.  He watched intently and asked a few questions to the server.  He wanted to make sure he could replicate the process at home.  Later that week he bought the ingredients and gave it a try.  He added his own touches, like a bit of extra mustard.  After a few times he had it just right and it became a favorite of his and everyone else who tried it.

We have “only child nights” on occasion with the kids.  Usually it happens spontaneously, but when it does, we sometimes make it into a special occasion.  I am reminded now, that the intention to do something special and the planning for it adds a layer to the memory and to the value of the experience.  My dad thought about taking me, and he thought about what it would mean to me.  He had a message he wanted to send about how I should be treated, what a special evening can be like and what it is like to enjoy a nice meal together.  He considered where to take me and when and he arranged to make it happen.  His demonstration of love and care showed me I was valuable and loved at just the right time in my adolescence.  It was a fun night and a very loving memory.  Now that I have teenagers, I know how precious those moments are with nearly adult humans.

***This is the 22nd part of a 30-piece writing series dedicated to my father, Tom Sheehan.  His last visit to NH was five years ago. He stayed for about 30 days.  I am writing 30 pieces in memory of him and in honor of the last 30 days he spent with us which we fondly refer to as his farewell tour.  I write to share bits of him with the world so that he may live on in it and in us.  You can find my posts on my blog at FarrahSheehan.com or on fb at https://www.facebook.com/pg/redheartliving/posts/